Hey yeah in the midst of all the hype and the strikes, can we PLEASE fucking talk about this
Margot Robbie, America Ferrera and Ariana Greenblatt on the set of BARBIE (2023), dir. Greta Gerwig
YOU are traumatized by the end of ep 6
I am still thinking about Crowley's gucci angel fit
thing is - and hear me out - if s3 does by any minute chance incorporate any suggestion of a sex scene, it is imperative for me that they commit to the bit. i need crowley to nearly topple over trying to get out of his jeans, i need aziraphale to complain that they cant do anything downstairs because that would be scandalous, and i need them to trip over going up the stairs because they keep getting distracted. i need one of them to accidentally get an elbow to the face, i need them to have a long forgotten book digging into one of their backs, and aziraphale is horrified when crowley launches it across the room, and i need there to be hard cut to whickber street having a huge power surge, lines sparking, all the power going out, and every car alarm in a 2-mile radius start screaming, i don't need it to be explicit or overly romantic but i do need it to be fucking funny
#DoItForMichaelSheen
we need a fictional wheelchair user who does all the unrealistic bullshit cars and motorcycles do in fiction. i wanna see a wheelchair do the akira slide. i need a high speed chase with a nitro-fuelled wheelchair where the character out-maneuvers cop cars. does anyone understand me
I was going to make a joke like 'lol that's just what I do anyway' but then I remembered a story.
One time I was going to the GPs with my sister and you have to go down this really steep hill in the carpark to get to the building. It's actually way easier to go in the middle of the road than the pavement here and it's pretty quiet so it's safe enough. There are speedbumps at the bottom of the hill. I was messing around showing off to her and letting myself start rolling very fast and she, as a joke, dared me to try do a jump off the speedbumps. I let myself roll EXTREMELY fast into them and started yelling 'PARKOUR' and then I realised I actually was going to hit into them and couldn't figure out what to do so I just did it and I definitely did go into the air. My chair's got decent suspension so I landed okay and came to a stop and looked up at a family who were walking to their car staring at me like 'what the actual fuck...' so I just awkwardly smiled and was like 'yeah, I've been practising' like it wasn't TERRIFYING. I hope they still remember it and I hope it looked cool.
muffin tins gotta be one of the top five worst dishes to wash by hand. right up there with them fuckass blender blades. all those nooks and crannies like… don’t piss me off
the people have spoken. also included in that list are whisks, cheese graters, champagne glasses, and apple corers. fuck these kitchen utensils!!!
I've been working on my JimBriel sweater vest pattern.
I've already made some edits, so if you reblogged the first version, please note that isn't the last version.
But I decided I would try knitting it out to test the pattern as I go.
I also figured that I could just used some spare yarn from a previous project so as to not waste yarn.
Friends.
That was a mistake.
Just. The size of this.
I had to stop and start over with different yarn this was getting ridiculous. |D
Think of a big corporation you hate
now take comfort that every corporation has some shit head like me fucking up their reports on accident.
i no longer frame my mistakes at work as mistakes as long as no one notices them before i have the chance to fix them. now its just throwing sand in the gears
Actually your society is the freaks for shooting everything that moves and burning half your "nature reserves" every year so that upperclass dandies can eat leaded pheasant. North Americans are the well adjusted ones here, your country has become a desolate suburban lawn in island form
my opinion as an american is that we spend way too much time trying to save african megafauna and nowhere near enough time making fun of the english for turning an entire island--which was once a hazelnut food forest--into a goddamn lawn.
bill bryson once actually wrote down in a whole book and got published that the english were superb gardeners and i about threw the book out the window i was that outraged. the english!!! the fucking ENGLISH. them? that's who you want to laud? the english
the
THERE ARE A GRAND FUCKING TOTAL OF ZERO STAPLE CROPS ORIGINALLY OR EVEN PRIMARILY CULTIVATED BY THE ENGLISH. NONE OF THEM. NOT POTATOES NOT WHEAT NOT TURNIPS NOT RYE. THEY GNAWED THEIR ISLAND DOWN TO A NUB FOR NOTHING. THE WOLVES AND BEARS ALL GONE FOR NOTHING. THE WILDCATS AND BIRDS AND MUSTELIDS AND INSECTS, GONE IN THEIR THOUSANDS, FOR NOTHING. FOR SOME SHEEP. FOR
THEIR MAIN AGRICULTURAL EXPORT IS FAMINE
anyway the english approach to agriculture, biodiversity, and environmentalism is roughly on par with a dog's approach to someone else's homework and everywhere in the world that has inherited their cack-fisted disdain for nature has suffered immensely. i can't overstate enough how bad things have been and still are.
please make fun of them. it's the least they fucking deserve.
the English led the world in abandoning the art of forestry, because for a while there they had intensively managed forests just trying to keep up with fuel demands, because as an island nation they've always been more likely to increase in density and try to bring marginal land under cultivation when the population grows, rather than spilling extra farmers over the nearest border.
and then they got onto coal and were like 'oh guess we don't need these trees and things anymore' and started eating their way through them and never really stopped.
(also according to the 13th century Charter of the Forest, certain common foraging rights in woodlands were legally sacrosanct regardless of land ownership, so the destruction of british forest is heavily bound up in enclosure and the destruction of the commons. and the highland clearances, which is intra-british colonialism at the expense of the scots. not that the scots haven't been involved in this process of Civilization but they did also have it done to them.)
and so if you, like, google earth around Britain you will find that random small clumps of trees are named 'Something Wood' because there used to be a wood there.
shook me mightily to do this as a teen and realize that the backdrop of all that Cute Small Animals Driven From Their Homes By Human Development children's fiction britain has long produced was actually to-scale, and the english countryside is genuinely like that.
I hate calling in sick I don't want to inform anyone about my abnormal bowel movements
I love it. I call them up and say hey bossman I'm camped out on the shitter today yeehaw
you are so beautiful in every way
We will get married on a windswept cliff and the dinner will be easily digestible
